The bull in the china shop

China shop

(Aries and Taurus)

It was October 31, 2019,

Halloween, and Mercury was in

retrograde. A woman sat in her china

shop in Spain, hoping she’d get no business

so she could close early.

She ate tuna fish sandwiches,

smothering them with butter with

a butcher knife.

A tourist walked in, and it

was obviously an American tourist.

She was obese, well-fed, and dressed

in a sunflower dress. She had shopping

bags, and she put her greasy hands

on the merchandise.

“If you break it, you pay

for it,” sighed the merchant.

Suddenly, a random bull came

crashing through the window, smashing

tons of china, and exiting out the

other glass window.

The American tourist looked

at the clerk. “So who has to pay

for it, the bull?”

“What astrological sign are

you?” demanded the clerk.

“Taurus.” replied the tourist.

:”Then you brought the bull.

It’s a curse! You pay!”

“Wait till my husband hears

about this!”

Suddenly a strong man walked

“Did you see that bull?”

“Are you a Taurus?” the clerk asked.

“A tourist? Actually, I’m a Ram!”

the husband said.

“You mean you’re an Aries.”

“No, I’m a football player.

I played for the Los Angeles Rams.

Don’t you recognize me? Oh, no,

here comes that bull again! Hand

me that butcher knife!”

The Ram ripped his wife’s

dress off her body, so she was in

her bra and panties.

“I’ll use this to do a little

bullfighting! Olay!”

The bull came charging

at the cape, or dress, then the Ram

stuck the butcher knife in the bull,

and the bull collapsed, dead.

The merchant said, “You

have to reimburse me for the store!”

then she took one more bite of

her tuna fish sandwich, and died

of mercury poisoning.

“My dress, hubs! You wrecked

it!”

“That’s okay, honey, we’ll just

do a switcheroo with this dead lady’s

dress! It looks like it will fit you!”

“I don’t like that dress! It’s

not my color!”

“Oh, Fran, I can’t take you

anywhere!”

 

By Mark Hudson

 

 

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